my random thoughts - what your purpose in life?

so... hi everyone. how are you? it's been a long time since my last post in this blog. haha.

in my early twenty, and in my phase on quarter life crisis, i have a question that randomly and frequently popping out in my mind : what my purpose in live? am i have to be like everyone? be a nice daughter, good student, have a wonderful career, and be a great wife with a husband and have some kids, then live happily ever after? am i born to be who i want to be or just flow with the path? tbh, i don't really know and i'm not sure for now.

like... i'm alive, even though i don't really know what i have to do with my live. all i know is just breathe, meet people, eat, sleep, what i supposed to do for real? am i have to do something that everyone else doing? am i born for a reason or just... live?

ok... maybe i have to know myself first before we talk about this purpose in life stuff. and the problem is i don't know who i am :(

i mean i know who i am. i'm astari, i live in bandung, i'm twenty years old, i have a boyfriend. i love the marias, pam, reality club, men i trust, dead bachelors, and also some of avanged sevenfold songs. i know how to cook carbonara, i'm in love with the sky, space, and star. i'm happy when i can read some good books, or see the citylights, i can't get enough of ice cream especially vanilla and cookie flavour, i'm passionate about making cookies, i have a great father and lovely mother, i have some of super-mega-best-friend (hai rani), and i have a dream that someday i can go to mars and meet the aliens.

lol, the last one is some of my weird dream. i'm a weirdo. i have sooooooo many unrealistic dream, but magically some of  my 'nyeleneh' dream is my life spirit too. i know it's impossible, but hey i can still go to see mars with telescope, or watch live streaming NASA, or maybe 10-30 years ahead a super sophisticated technology where we can go to mars will be true. who knows?

ok, back to the topic. the main question is are we born for a reason? or simply just to living the life?

i don't really know what to do with my life. i mean... i don't know what my goals, till now i'm just trying to life the fullest. feel all those feeling that comes to me, do everything that i supposed to do, trying to enjoy this freaky life. haha. (feel like i'm almost crazy for facing my quarter life crisis phase. proud to myself that i can survive until now). aaaaaaaaaand after all this time, after everything that ever happened to me, i still didn't know what my purpose in life. maybe i just have to living the life until i found my purpose in life someday. ok, it's sounds like a nice idea.

how about you? do you have your purpose in life?

p.s. btw aku sosoan nulis pake bahasa inggris bukan pengen sosoan aja, tapi pengen belajar jugak. i know banyak yang masih salah tapi ya namanya juga belajar. feel free buat koreksi yak. tq.